When you send your kids to your ex’s house for visitation as part of your child custody agreement, you expect them to be treated fairly. It’s natural to assume that your former spouse will continue being a good parent during and after divorce, but unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. While unfair treatment certainly warrants a call to your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer, try do-it-yourself techniques first.
Assessing the Problem with Your Children
Find out if your suspicions are true by engaging in open dialogue with your kids. If there are other children at your ex’s house, work through the dynamics of those relationships so that you can understand the situation before you present it to your ex or to your lawyer.
Talking to Your Ex about the Way He or She Treats Your Kids
Sometimes a simple phone call can work wonders. Reach out to your ex with your concerns; he or she might not realize that the kids feel like they’re being treated unfairly. When you talk to your ex, present your concerns in a calm, rational manner—no blatant accusations or ultra-powerful interrogation techniques, or you might not get anywhere.
My Kids Aren’t Being Treated Fairly at My Ex’s House (Still!)
Unfortunately, not all exes are cooperative. If yours can’t seem to understand how he or she is treating your children unfairly, you might need to involve your attorney. In some cases, particularly if your ex’s circumstances have changed or if he or she has violated a court order, it’s possible to change your child custody and visitation.
Helping Your Kids Cope with Unfair Treatment
While it’s heartbreaking to see your children being treated unfairly by their one of their own parents, they need you to stay strong. You’re their rock; the one they can depend on. Make sure your kids know they can draw on your strength any time they need to. Whether they want to call you from your ex’s house, sit and chat with you over hot chocolate or just get some TLC, being there for them is the most important thing you can do to ensure they develop the coping skills they need at this stage of their parent-child relationships.
