It’s sad, but true: as many as one in three marriages is affected by infidelity. If you think your spouse is cheating, you might feel angry, hurt, betrayed and vengeful (sometimes all at once!), and that’s perfectly natural. Most people who are blindsided by a cheating spouse feel a little lost, too, which is also normal. The first thing you should do is contact a Chapel Hill divorce lawyer.
Your First Call to a Chapel Hill Divorce Lawyer
Calling a Chapel Hill divorce lawyer, even if you don’t yet have evidence that your spouse has been sneaking around, is generally the best first step. Calling an attorney doesn’t mean you’re committed to getting a divorce. It only means that you want to uncover your options, whether you choose to stay or go.
When you call a Chapel Hill divorce lawyer, he or she will probably have several questions, such as:
- Why do you suspect your spouse is cheating?
- Do you have evidence of an affair?
- Do you feel you cannot forgive him or her?
- Do you have children, and if you do, what kind of child custody arrangement will you want?
While it may be tough to entertain any of these questions, be open and honest with your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer. He or she may be able to use the information you provide to help you in court if you do decide to get a divorce.
To Prove or Not to Prove
Not everyone who suspects they’re the victim of a cheating spouse tries to prove it. Sometimes it’s just that gut feeling. Other times, people are just ready to be finished with their marriages and will accept the suspicion of adultery as the perfect reason to start fresh. The bottom line in some of these cases is that there’s no trust in the marriage—and many people feel like they’ll be better off divorcing than trying to rebuild after irreparable damage has been done.
What Your Chapel Hill Divorce Lawyer Might Advise
If custody, spousal support (alimony) and the division of property hang in the balance, your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer might encourage you to try to find evidence of your spouse’s infidelity. However, make sure you ask your attorney about which methods are legal and which are not. Don’t take advice from friends, family or the Internet without consulting your lawyer first.
Your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer might also suggest that you talk to a qualified local therapist or counselor to help sort through the turmoil you’re experiencing. Whether or not you decide to divorce, it’s usually a good idea to talk out your issues with a compassionate, concerned listener.