Summer vacation is right around the corner. The kids will be out of school and ready to unleash the pent-up energy they’ve been storing all year. And here you are, a divorcing parent with too much on your plate… Are you ready?

Summer Vacations are Tough during Divorce
During your divorce, you have a lot to worry about. You’re budgeting your time between kids and work, scheduling meetings with your Charlotte divorce lawyer, and handling your personal obligations.

Sometimes it seems like there aren’t enough hours in the day. No matter what your child custody agreement looks like, you’ll probably have to make adjustments once school is out for the summer.

Try talking to your ex to see if he or she can lend a hand; in fact, your Charlotte divorce lawyer might suggest that you make your ex your first option when you need child care. That encourages parent-child relationships and gives you the help you need—it’s a win-win.

Teaming up with Other Parents
If you’re having a tough time working out the kinks in your summertime schedule, it can’t hurt to find out if you know anyone else in the same situation. Sometimes working out a childcare schedule is easy; if your neighbor is home early on Mondays and you go in late on Fridays, you might be able to work a simple kid-swap that makes everyone happy (and gets some of the pressure off the grown-ups).

Make Your Time with the Kids Count
When you’ve got time off and you’re free to hang out with your kids, make the most of it. Psychologists suggest that kids can be traumatized if they think that you could be spending time with them and you’re not. In 20 years, your kids won’t remember that you finished a project ahead of schedule by working on the weekend—but they will remember if you set your work aside and focused on them.

When Your Ex isn’t Helping
Exes aren’t always easy to deal with, especially when they don’t contribute like they should. If you can’t get your ex to pick up the kids at your agreed-upon times, if he or she is a frequent “no-show” or if you’re not getting any cooperation at all, let your Charlotte divorce lawyer know. He or she might be able to help rearrange your custody agreement or adjust the amount of child support you receive so you can afford to hire extra help.

Single dads face unique challenges, but they often go unaddressed. However, the number of single dads with custody has been on the rise over the last decade—and that means you’re certainly not alone. Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce or your Charlotte divorce lawyer has already handed you the final paperwork, you’re part of a growing number of men raising children alone.

Single-parent households make up around 30 percent of the country’s population, according to the US Census Bureau. As a single dad, you have the same concerns as any other parent… and then some.

Single Dads: It’s Not All Fun and Games
As a single father, you have two jobs: the 9-to-5 kind and the 24-hour-a-day, 7-days-a-week kind. That means you’re responsible for providing financially and emotionally for your kids—and that’s a tall order. Even if you receive child support from your ex, money may be a little too tight for comfort. You might feel like you’re spread too thin when you have to cope with the emotional aspects of parenting, but according to most psychologists, that’s completely normal. It is a sign that you might need to decompress, though, so remember that it’s okay to take time for yourself.

You Don’t Have to do it Alone if You’re a Single Dad
One of the keys to being a successful single dad is having a good support network. Your parents, family and friends can often offer valuable insight when things begin to get overwhelming, so use their expertise. You might also consider talking to a family therapist; if you’re interested, ask your Charlotte divorce lawyer for a referral to a qualified professional in your area.

Coping with What Others Think
Some people don’t know what kind of sacrifices single dads make. They may not understand that you’re doing your best in a way that works for your family. You’re bound to get unsolicited advice, and in most cases, it’s best to nod and say “Thank you” whether or not you intend to heed it.

The important thing is to ignore what others think and continue doing what’s right for you and your kids. You’re the one shouldering the responsibility, and you know your situation best.

Celebrate Your Successes
As a single dad, you might have a hard time celebrating small victories when you’re focused on the bigger picture. However, acknowledging that you’ve succeeded and enjoying the knowledge that you’re super-dad is a healthy part of single parenting. Don’t skimp on self-praise, because you deserve it.

Divorce is one of the toughest things you’ll ever go through, and it brings on a wide range of emotions, including pain, anger and regret. During your divorce, you might be tempted to inflict those feelings on your soon-to-be ex—particularly if he or she doesn’t seem to be experiencing them—but your Charlotte divorce lawyer will probably advise you to remain civil and avoid making unnecessary waves.

Keeping Your Cool
No matter how angry or upset you are, taking your emotions out on your spouse can be a mistake. During a divorce, keeping a level head can only help your case. If you let your emotions take control, you risk getting caught up in a damaging whirlwind that can affect child custody and other aspects of your divorce.

What Not to Say to Your Ex
There are lots of things you shouldn’t say to your ex, even if you think they’ll make you feel better. However, there are five huge don’ts when it comes to conversations, emails and texts:

1. “I’m going to (insert threat here) you!” When you’re angry, the filter between your brain and your mouth has a hard time working properly; that’s a scientific fact. Even if you don’t mean them, making threats is serious business. You can land yourself into legal hot water, as well as affect your case negatively, if you threaten your ex with harm or violence.

2. “Oh yeah? Well, I’ve got a girlfriend/boyfriend.” When your ex is telling you that he or she always thought you were a bad spouse, it might be tempting to sting them back and elicit a jealous response by telling them you’re seeing someone new. This is almost always a terrible idea, especially if it’s true. Your Charlotte divorce lawyer will probably tell you not to date anyone until your divorce is final; if you can’t wait, you’ll need to keep it under wraps until everything’s official.

3. “I’m moving out.” You might be eager to start your new life by setting up shop somewhere else, but your Charlotte divorce lawyer might tell you to hold off on renting a moving truck—at least until it’s clear who’s getting your marital home and your joint possessions. If you rush to move out, you might not fare as well as your ex when your marital property is divided.

4. “I hate you. You’re a horrible person and you don’t deserve to live.” While you might really believe that, there’s no need to create more conflict. If you can be civil to your spouse, you stand a better chance of being able to work together throughout the process; that way, you can come up with a fair settlement that you’re both happy with.

5. “Fine. Take it all. I’m done.” Divorce can be a long, difficult process, but that doesn’t mean you should settle for less than what you deserve in order to get it over with. Your Charlotte divorce lawyer will probably advise you to engage in negotiations rather than give up, because the things you settle on now will affect you in the long run.

When your spouse becomes combative, the best thing you can do is to leave the situation. Stop texting, stop talking and stop emailing until he or she has cooled off. That way, you can ensure that you won’t get sucked into saying something that can be used against you later.

Some people are fortunate enough to have good relationships with their in-laws—but that isn’t the case for everyone. Meddling in-laws can make a divorce harder than it needs to be by interjecting opinions, making harassing phone calls and interfering with your childcare and visitation plans. What can you do when your ex’s family won’t stay out of your divorce?

Talk to Your Charlotte Divorce Lawyer First
Your Charlotte divorce lawyer has likely dealt with nosy in-laws, meddling friends and other parties running interference in other divorce cases. While most of these outsiders are well-intentioned, they aren’t always on your team.

Let your lawyer know if your in-laws are wreaking havoc in your already-tumultuous divorce. If your ex’s family is threatening or harassing you, tell your lawyer immediately. As an attorney, he or she might be able to take legal action to make your life easier.

Talk to Your Ex
Let your ex know that his or her family is overstepping their bounds. Like with any communication between you, keep it civil and professional—no throwing around accusations or bringing up the past.

Saying “Your mother is bothering me just like she did while we were married” will probably just start a fight, which is counter-productive. Try saying something like, “Your mom called and wanted to know why (insert the issue here). Do you think you could talk to her about it? She might understand better if it’s coming from you.”

Avoid Interacting with People Who Drag You Down
If it’s at all possible, simply avoid picking up the phone when your ex’s family calls. When you do need to answer, try the strategy you use with your ex: “Do you think you could talk to (your ex) about it? He or she might be able to explain it better than I can.”

Sometimes avoidance is tough; if they’re your childcare providers, for example, you’ll have to deal with them. You can politely ask them to keep their discussions with you limited to the kids and ask that they discuss the divorce with their own child. Though that doesn’t always work, it’s worth a shot.

When to Call Your Charlotte Divorce Lawyer
Sometimes in-laws just ignore requests for them to stay out of your divorce. Before you get angry and say things you might regret, call your lawyer and ask if he or she can do anything about the constant interference. If the harassment is severe enough to warrant legal action, your Charlotte divorce lawyer will know exactly what to do.

Divorce isn’t easy, whether you’ve chosen it or your spouse has. Some factors make divorce even more complex—like pregnancy. If you’re pregnant and going through a divorce, you’ll need to talk to your Charlotte divorce lawyer about your situation. Only your attorney can give you legal advice pertaining to your case, so it’s important to make sure he or she knows all the details. Your Charlotte divorce lawyer will explain how North Carolina law affects your case if you’re divorcing while pregnant.

Stress, Divorce and Pregnancy
Pregnancy and divorce are life-changing events; when they happen at the same time, the stress can be overwhelming. Your health and your baby’s health depend on your ability to cope with stress effectively. Naturally, you’ll need to consult with your obstetrician or midwife before starting any physical exercise regimen; however, for most women, daily walks and light exercise are excellent stress-busters.

What Your Charlotte Divorce Lawyer May Recommend
Your Charlotte divorce lawyer is always looking out for your best interests, so he or she might suggest that you talk to a local counselor or therapist. Since you’re going through two major life events at once, you may benefit from talking to an impartial third party who can help you keep things in perspective.

How Your Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Can Help You
If necessary, your Charlotte divorce lawyer will help you work out a custody arrangement and child support. Your attorney can also discuss other issues that you’re facing, like insurance and healthcare.

Your Charlotte divorce lawyer will also help you decide on the best time to move (or to ask your spouse to move out of your home) if you’re still living with your soon-to-be ex. Depending on the stage of your pregnancy, your lawyer might suggest postponing a move and will probably encourage you to talk to your physician.

You Come First
It’s natural to be overwhelmed with emotion, whether you initiated the divorce or not; remember that your health and your baby’s health come first. If you feel like things are moving too quickly and you need to slow down, or if you’re not comfortable with any aspect of your case, from parental rights to alimony, let your Charlotte divorce lawyer know. He or she can work around your needs so you can get the peace of mind you deserve.