Many people have suggested that divorce is harder than the death of a spouse—but is it really? Your Durham divorce lawyer has probably seen some tough cases, especially those that include bitter child custody battles and domestic violence, that leave bitterness and anger long after the divorce is final. While grief is very real in each situation, in some ways divorce might be more difficult to deal with for some people.
Apples to Oranges: Comparing Death and Divorce
Without a doubt, divorce is one of the hardest things most people will ever deal with. In most cases, psychologists say that divorce can’t be compared to the death of a spouse because the dynamics are vastly different.
What Makes Divorce So Different than Death?
Unlike death, divorce is a willful decision made by one or both parties in a marriage. It’s often the result of one partner’s unhappiness, unfaithfulness or other issues. A divorce marks the end of an unhappy relationship, while death doesn’t necessarily do that.
The after-effects of both scenarios are different, too; many people experience an outpouring of support after the death of a spouse, but after a divorce, each divorcé is often left alone. While a widower or widow is expected to take time to grieve, many divorced men and women are told to “move on” and start over.
What You Should Ask Your Durham Divorce Lawyer
In order for you to process your grief during divorce, you’ll need to ask your Durham divorce lawyer a few key questions. You’ll need to know how often you’ll have to deal with your ex (frequent contact can make coping more difficult), especially if you share children; you’ll probably want to find out how long it will be before your Durham divorce lawyer hands you your signed, final paperwork.
You might also want to ask your Durham divorce lawyer if he or she can refer you to a local counselor or therapist with experience in situations like yours. Talking to a third party can be incredibly therapeutic, helping you put your grief into perspective and allowing you the time you need to grieve over the loss of your marriage.