Kittyboaded:
Be aware that what happened in my case does NOT happen in all cases.
I will try to answer your questions based on my experience ONLY.
I was married for 21 years. I was a stay at home mom. My ex was a physician with a significant salary. The ex committed adultery and admitted the adultery.
I was a dependent spouse, obviously.
The ex tightly controlled the finances and kept me on a strict budget.
I received PSS. It took two years for me to receive PSS. During the interim, I received “voluntary” payments from the ex of a small amount. He controlled all marital assets and I had access to nothing. The PSS was more than his voluntary payments.
In the Final Analysis, the judge reduced the PSS amount significantly. In other words, he reduced my expenses. The adultery was never, never considered.
In the final analysis, the judge reduced the child support by over 1200.00. The custody had only changed by 2 days.
In the end result, I received considerably less than I had received during the PSS/original child support order. I did not receive 50% of the property.
Keep in mind that many judges are reluctant to reduce a PSS Order. I receive alimony, but my alimony is only about 6% of the ex’s income. All in all, the ex retained over 90% of his income. At age 50, I was forced back into the workforce and will be working the rest of my life. The ex is on track to retire next year at age 56.
I received no attorney fees. No medical. No life insurance policy. No say in the children’s UTMA funds. I have to pay 50% of all extracurricular and 50% of all medical/dental. I have a low 5 figure income while the ex is in the top 1% of all incomes in the U.S. I lost my house…everything…