Parent Providing Alcohol

[concernedmom81]

I am very concerned with my ex-husband. Over the weekend, he allowed our 4 year old daughter to drink several sips of his alcoholic drink at a restaurant. Then they called to tell me about because he thought it was funny. It was evident that he had too much to drink. We have joint custody but want to cut his time back because of his alcohol issues. I am not sure what steps to take and how costly this is. I don't have a lot of money but I want full custody so I don't have to worry about her welfare. We got divorced because of his alcohol issues. He also will not allow her to play sports or any activities like horse-back riding or dance. He does not see any benefits from these activities. What should be my first steps in obtaining full custody?

Thanks

[athos]

You will need to post this in the ATTORNEY RESPONSE forum to get legal advice.

The only thing I can tell you is that one isolated incident of him doing this or something like it with you daughter will be insufficient, however a documented series of behaviours of him being an irresponsible parent (leaving her unattended at her age, allowing her to drink, etc) will allow you to have cause. Since he called you to let you know what he did, keep a phone log and write down the time and date of the phone calls and a brief description of anything he might've said.

[Deborrah]

it is ok for the parent to provide alcohol to thier children... but no one elses, and if they provide it for anyone else it is considered contributing to the delinquency, but i am not saying a judge is going to support a parent that gave her 5 year old a beer, thats just not right. i mean in the event that the child is in his/her late teens maybe 16, i know my dad would have rather had me home drinking then out getting into god knows what kind of trouble. so he let me drink at home if i wanted to drink at home. And i learned some valuable lessons doing so... like when to say when.

[dovex3]

The other two post only dictate about your husband. Reading your story, it sounds like you dont have funds to pay for an attorney to handle your case.
First I want for you to look at the entire situation between your child and your X. If the living atmosphere is not condusive for the child. Basically, if you have a court order for split custody, you have to show cause and have very good reasons that this needs to be adjusted. One time incidents of minor things will get you no where. My guess is that if you went to court with that allegation only, the judge would give your X a slap on the hand. You will need to show the court that neglect of your child by your X is ongoing. You will need to officially subpoena witnesses. There is a small costs for the clerk of court to process this. If his alchahol problem has been a long term issue, you will need to pull out all documentation that you can so support the problem on his substance abuse. Remember you can do this your self. It will take time and deligence. You will be acting as your own attorney. I suggest to sit in on a few court cessions to learn the proceedures. Your questions must directed to the the evidence as verification. You can not express personal feelings but bring out facts only. I wish you the best.

[Eliga35]

For the most part, the parents that would think this was a great idea were so trashy that I'd never let my kids near them, nor would my kids have wanted to hang there.
It seemed to be more about the parents wanting to be young still by reinforcing how young and with it they were and less about the kids education and safety.
Also, I knew of one of those moms that was always trying to seduce the teen boys. God, she made an idiot of herself at 50 years old and 250 lbs.
As for my kids, we drank a glass of wine once or twice on special occassions and I talked to them constantly about the dangers of drugs and alcohol and they have had problems with neither so far. Hopefully it stays that way.
Sorry, such scenes were completely avoided because they were promising nothing but trouble really with those immature "parents" in charge.

[eisenberglaw]

its really not good to provide alcohol to your childerns:(

[vennee]

its really not good to provide alcohol to your childerns:(

I agree, it's kinda careless for the parent to let children drink alcohol. This is a bad habit and it could be worse when this continues. As kids, they follow whatever a grown up does so it is the job of the parents to set a good example in raising and disciplining our kids. Hopefully, you'll find a way to stop this behavior from your ex.