Sounds like we have similar issues. Check post above re: "rise to criminal level".
At least your kids are not on the cusp of homelessness as mine is. My ex may show up here in NC next week (strange as it may sound, I have offered to help her with a church related homeless program but she has to this point thought herself "too good" for such a thing) with our daughter to try to rebuild her life after screwing it up massively in NY, or she may freak out and go on the run, forcing our daughter to live out of a car, all in the name of protecting her ego as a "custodial parent".
Hope your situation works out.