Being Nice to Your Ex: Should You Bother?

Being Nice to Your Ex During DivorceYou’ve probably heard the old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.” In most situations, that’s absolutely true—and divorce is one of those situations. In fact, your Raleigh divorce lawyer will probably encourage you to be as nice to your ex as possible. You don’t have to be buddy-buddy, but keeping things civil and friendly, if you can manage it, will go a long way toward getting you what you want from your divorce.

Taking the High Road
Okay, so it’s not all about being the better person. That is a big part of it, because by avoiding drama, fighting and hassle, you’ll be happier. However, when your ex sees you as a person instead of the enemy, he or she will be more motivated to cooperate with you. Working together to find a solution that benefits both of you, whether it’s by way of your alimony agreement or when it comes down to the distribution of your marital property, is the ideal—and your Raleigh divorce lawyer will probably tell you the same thing.

Helping Your Kids
Kids go through the whole spectrum of emotions during a divorce, too, so seeing mom and dad being civil to each other is generally soothing. If you’ve had a rough marriage, particularly if it’s been full of fights that the kids have seen or heard, your kids will be relieved to see you finally keeping the peace. Even better, they’ll see that you and your ex are happier when you’re apart; while that doesn’t necessarily sound like a good thing, it is. It can show them that your divorce has positive points, including both your and your ex’s happiness.

Can’t Get Along?
If you and your ex just can’t get along, despite the fact that you’ve given it an honest effort, that’s okay. Try to keep your contact to a minimum and work through your Raleigh divorce lawyers to get things done. When you do make contact with each other, keep it away from the kids so they’re not caught in the line of fire. Your lawyer might also suggest that you use mediation to get things accomplished during your divorce (sometimes mediation is a good idea even if you agree with your ex on most things).

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