Divorce Negotiations: Working Together During Divorce

Working Together During DivorceFor many couples, “working together” isn’t on the top of the divorce to-do list.

Despite encouragement from your Raleigh divorce lawyer, well-meaning friends and family and dozens of articles on the benefits of collaborative divorce, you might be digging in your heels and feeling like the last thing you want to do is cooperate with your soon-to-be ex.

That’s perfectly normal.

But what if working together during divorce could provide you (and your whole family) with huge—and tangible—benefits?

Working Together During Divorce: Why Bother?
You might be thinking, “Well, I could do it, but he or she just can’t cooperate. That’s why we’re getting a divorce.”

The truth is that you don’t need your ex to be a willing partner. If you start to cooperate, he or she will be dragged along for the ride—and you’ll both come out better for it.

Honey vs. Vinegar: Your Grandma Was Right
According to generations of grandmas everywhere, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. The same is true during divorce. As many as 95 percent of divorce cases in North Carolina are settled out of court, which saves both participants time and money.

During your divorce, showing a cooperative spirit will get you closer to what you want than anger, refusal to acknowledge the other party’s requests and stubbornness will—any Raleigh divorce lawyer can tell you that from experience.

Reflect on What Doesn’t Affect You
Say your spouse is insisting on keeping all the fine china you accrued during your marriage (and that you don’t really care where the china ends up). You have two options: fight over it just for spite or let it go. We’ve already established that you don’t care about it, so your actions now can determine how the rest of the divorce process goes.

Your Raleigh divorce lawyer might advise you to let it go—and for good reason. You can use it as a “trade” that leaves your ex feeling like he or she won (that big-screen TV in the bedroom belongs to you anyway) or you can just do it as a gesture of goodwill. You’ll earn some mutual goodwill by saying something like, “I know how much that china means to you, so yes, it’s fine with me if you take it.”

Whether you and your ex are locking horns over child custody, property division or anything else, your Raleigh divorce lawyer will probably discuss the benefits of not sweating the small stuff—and both of you will be able to walk away winners.