My Ex Moved in with Her New Boyfriend, Now What?

When your ex moves in with her boyfriendIt’s never easy when your ex moves on – but it’s especially tough if you’re not even divorced yet. If your soon-to-be ex-wife has moved in with her boyfriend, you may feel a huge range of emotions that includes betrayal, hurt and anger. These feelings are completely normal, even if you don’t want her back or you’re glad to be done with the marriage. What’s harder, though, is when she moves in with a new flame.

While your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer has probably already advised you not to become romantically involved while you’re still married, your ex may not know – or care – how seriously it can affect your divorce case.

My Ex Moved in with Her New Boyfriend
When you’re still legally married to your spouse, even if you’ve been living apart and you’re certain that your marriage is over, it’s a bad idea to become romantically involved with someone else. If your ex can prove alienation of affection, for example, the court may not look favorably on your actions (and can even require your significant other to pay your spouse damages).

Your lawyer can point out specific problems with starting a new relationship as they apply to your case. Generally, avoidance is the best policy.

Dealing with Your Ex’s Choices
Knowing that your ex has moved on in such a permanent way hurts. There’s no doubt about that. While it’s mostly true that time heals all wounds, there are a few things you can do to make this difficult time more bearable.

  • Don’t consider your marriage “wasted time.” It’s okay to regret what’s happened, but the time you spent married to your ex served a valuable purpose: it brought you to where you are today and where you’ll be tomorrow.
  • Don’t put your ex on a pedestal. Remembering the bad times, as well as the good times, can help you realize that you’re split up for a reason.
  • Get to know yourself. When you were married, you changed – it happens to all of us. But the person you were is still there, and this is the perfect time to get to know yourself again. Pick up an old hobby or decide to start a new one; the point is exploring what you enjoy when you’re alone is very healthy.

Nothing can take away the pain entirely right now, but you can cope with it. One thing’s certain: you’ll come out of this stronger and more resilient than you were before.


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