When Stepmoms Butt In

evil-stepmother-300x200Divorcing with kids is never easy, and many moms report that things don’t always get easier once a Chapel Hill divorce lawyer has handed them a divorce decree. Sometimes new issues arise that make single parenting more difficult—like when a new stepmom enters the picture. Some biological moms are incredibly grateful for their kids’ stepmoms involvement, and vice-versa. Most stepmothers share a common goal: to be a great stepparent to your kids without stepping on your toes.

Unfortunately, not all stepmoms are created equal. Some go out of their way to be spiteful toward bio-moms for several reasons, including issues that stem from their resentment of their husband’s previous marriage. If your kids have a spiteful stepmom, you may have grounds to change your child custody agreement; however, only your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer can provide you with legal advice based on your unique situation.

It’s generally a good idea to approach stepmoms with dignity and respect, even if you think they’re behaving out of spite. The old saying about catching more flies with honey than with vinegar is true, and you might be surprised to learn that your kids’ new stepmom is confused about how she should act and is as concerned as you are.

The Forceful Stepmom
Despite your best efforts, you might be dealing with a forceful, bossy stepmom who thinks she’s better qualified for your role than you are. First, you need to know that she isn’t. Second, you’ll need to broach this subject with your ex. If he won’t hear you out, talk to your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer about what your other options.

Try to find out whether she’s acting like a dictator or she’s trying to enforce rules your ex-husband has laid out. Some women are bossy by nature, and respectfully asking her to lighten up around your kids might be better-received than you think.

When to Call Your Chapel Hill Divorce Lawyer
If your kids come home from their dad’s house and tell you that their stepmom has verbally or physically abused them, or has made threats toward them, call your lawyer immediately.

Likewise, if they report that she’s made unfavorable comments about you, called you names or made them uncomfortable outside the normal scope of parenting (sending them to their rooms after  breaking a rule doesn’t count; that’s something you can take up with your ex), tell your lawyer. Your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer may be able to help you revisit your custody agreement or take legal action against your ex and his new significant other.

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