Better Left Unsaid: What Not to Say to Your Ex

Your decision to talk to a Raleigh divorce lawyer about ending your marriage can trigger an emotional upheaval. The emotions you experience can be hard to control—and that’s where many people get into trouble. When emotions dictate actions, people often say things they later regret. When you’re dealing with an ex who has hurt you or made you angry, it’s easy to justify your actions by blaming them on your out-of-control emotions.

While it’s okay (and perfectly normal) to indulge in a little under-the-breath name-calling or an occasional eyeroll, some things can jeopardize your divorce case, cause more harm than good, or create emotional trauma for kids.

“I Cheated on You.”
Few things could cause your Raleigh divorce lawyer more grief, or potentially damage your case more, than claiming you cheated on your spouse just to make him or her angry. While telling your soon-to-be ex that you cheated may be an emotional low-blow that will leave them reeling, whether it’s true or not, avoid claiming infidelity. Naturally, the personal details of your case should stay between you and your Raleigh divorce lawyer.

“I Just Want this Finished… Take What You Want.”
Giving your ex everything in an attempt to end your divorce quickly might backfire on you. Make sure your Raleigh divorce lawyer has a clear picture of your financial situation before you make any concessions to your ex. Giving up your marital home and your assets might leave you ill-prepared for the future, and your attorney can probably help you reach an equitable solution through mediation or arbitration.

Name-Calling and Emotional Abuse
Most people have, from time to time, called their spouse a nasty name during an argument. Additionally, most people have implied or said in anger that their partner wasn’t living up to their standards. It’s when name-calling and manipulation through shame cross the line into emotional abuse, or when they happen in front of children, that big problems arise.

Kids should never be subjected to hearing their parents fight this way. Divorce is tough enough for them without having to sort out why mom and dad belittle each other when they’re both good parents.

If your spouse is emotionally abusing you, particularly if it happens in front of your children, tell your Raleigh divorce lawyer right away. He or she will be able to provide you with advice that’s perfectly tailored to your situation.

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