This article was written by divorce attorney Lisa Robinson as part of her series on celebrity divorce and separation issues.
Today’s real life lesson in separation comes to us from Real Housewives of Atlanta star Drew Sidora. She is living upstairs while her estranged husband Ralph Pittman resides in the basement. This is a practice called nesting, and they are not the first couple to engage in it. However, can this really work?
Drew Sidora and Ralph Pittman’s Divorce
Season 16 of the Real Housewives of Atlanta is delivering with new housewives, but there are plenty of storylines with veteran housewives, including Drew Sidora (Jordan). Drew has been in the limelight for some time. At age 9, she was in a Fox TV movie, Divas. She has a lengthy list of tv and movie credits, including That’s So Raven. She is a singer as well, having signed her first record deal in 2006. During the last episode of the show’s reunion for season 15, she sang a heartbroken song about her failed marriage, all while her estranged husband was sitting in front of her and the show was being filmed.
Drew began her work with Real Housewives in 2020. Her marriage to Ralph Pittman has been a large part of her storyline. Ralph has not been portrayed in the best of light: suspicious conversations about his mysterious out-of-town trips, questions about what he actually does for work, and big hints about infidelity have all tarnished his image.
Drew Sidora and Ralph Pittman’s divorce filing started in 2023, and as Season 16 has revealed there has not been a quick resolution. Surprisingly, it has been shared and televised that the couple have been under the same roof – still for quite some time – post divorce filing, with Ralph living in the basement of their home while Drew lives upstairs.
Now, admittedly, this makes for an interesting storyline. But can this type of arrangement work in real life and not just in real housewife world?
Does Nesting Work?
For a quick answer, probably not. In the legal world, this concept of nesting has gained some attention for the past decade or so. Most divorcing parents consider this a way to ease into the new dynamic of separation in a way that does not quickly push the minor children into separate, new homes with only one parent. In most nesting situations, the parents will rotate in and out of the martial home, each taking turns of living in the house with the children and perhaps even sharing a new apartment with the other parent, rotating in and out.
This type of nesting arrangement does provide some benefits to the children. It keeps the children under the same roof and they get to avoid dealing with scheduling of where and when they need to be. They, the children, can just keep going “home”. But, as may be obvious, nesting is not a viable long-term solution.
Eventually, a parent or perhaps even both parents will need to make new living arrangements. Divorce and separation is tough, and add to that – having to relocate in and out of a house and apartment. Even though minor children have to do this, everyone will eventually need to establish a new home.
In North Carolina, a married couple is not considered separated if they are still living under the same roof. The state also requires that the parties have been separated for at least one year prior to filing for divorce. With a nesting arrangement, it is possible that a judge could rule that the parties had not separated yet because the impression is that the parties are still together, albeit, for the children.
What Does it All Mean?
Back to the real housewives’ world, think about it, with all the accusations admist Drew and Ralph’s divorce made against Ralph Pittman, is this a healthy, realistic solution? It is not hard to imagine how awkward this type of arrangement would be when one spouse starts dating someone new. Drew made claims about not feeling safe with Ralph and feeling like he had misused their marital money. The filming of the show does not indicate that there is a locking door between the basement and main level of the house. Rarely, if ever, do we encounter a separating couple who would be comfortable with this type of “unsecure” living arrangement.
Often, we see that a divorcing couple may need to sell the marital home for financial reasons. Parties often want a new home as a way of beginning a new chapter in life. Selling the family home and dividing the equity is often required. The parties may start dating and eventually re-marry. Again, think how impossible nesting would be with new partners involved.
Even though we question how long this living arrangement will work, the push to have a focus on the children and co-parenting is to be commended.
