Divorcing a Verbally Abusive Spouse
People divorce for many reasons. Infidelity, different goals and desires, and clashing personalities are common themes that most attorneys are familiar with. Less commonly, people divorce because they’ve become victims of verbal abuse. While verbal abuse doesn’t leave physical scars, the emotional trauma can be severe and long-lasting.
People in relationships with verbal abusers often don’t recognize early signs. In fact, many victims don’t recognize verbal abuse until someone else points it out. If you are being verbally abused, you have several options—including having a talk with a Durham divorce lawyer.
Recognizing the Signs of Verbal Abuse
When your spouse verbally abuses you, it’s often tough to tell whether he or she is just taking anger out on you and whether it’s your fault. After all, everyone fights (and many people speak out of anger and say things they don’t mean)… right?
Fighting is a normal part of marriage, and occasional meanness is something most couples deal with. However, if a pattern of control or dominant behavior starts to emerge, it might be time to talk to a Durham divorce lawyer about getting out of the relationship.
An abuser will make his or her victim:
• feel isolated or alone
• become afraid that the abuser will leave, ignore or reject them
• feel ashamed or like a failure
Some abusers are motivated by the desire to control others in order to quell their own anxieties and fears. Others use threats and intimidation in order to feel stronger or superior to others. Regardless of why your spouse is verbally abusing you, it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault—it’s your spouse’s—and you have the option to improve your situation by talking to a Durham divorce lawyer.
What a Durham Divorce Lawyer Might Suggest
Talking to a Durham divorce lawyer might help you gain perspective and get a clear picture of your situation. Often, telling someone who’s on your side—someone who’s seen situations like yours before—can help you make the tough decisions you need to make.
Your Durham divorce lawyer might suggest that you consider all aspects of divorce in North Carolina, including custody and child support, division of property and how you will move on with your life. He or she will probably ask you several questions designed to help you make the right decision for your unique situation.