Keeping Your Emotions Out of Durham Divorce Proceedings

You hear it said all the time: divorce is one of the most emotionally trying times of a person’s life. You have to cope with tumultuous emotions like grief, loss, confusion, anger and sadness. You also have to deal with your spouse’s emotions and your kids’ emotions, as well as financial issues, new family circumstances and everyday stresses.

Letting your emotions take over is usually a bad idea, and your Durham divorce lawyer will probably encourage you to look at your divorce case from an objective, unemotional standpoint. That’s not to say he or she will advise you to lock your feelings away (in fact, your Durham divorce lawyer may suggest you talk to a counselor or therapist to help you through this difficult time); what that means is that your attorney wants you to make important decisions with a clear head and avoid further complicating your case.

Emotions Make Negotiation Difficult
Your Durham divorce lawyer wants you to get the things to which you are entitled during your divorce. He or she needs you to be able to keep your emotions in check so you can negotiate with your ex and reach a fair settlement.

If your anger or sadness rule the negotiation process, you’re likely to miss opportunities to make fair trades; you may end up giving your ex more than he or she deserves out of despondence, or you may want to “take it all” just to give back a little of the pain you’re feeling.

Outbursts Cause Damage
When it comes to behavior in court, your Durham divorce lawyer will be able to tell you exactly what to do. Your attorney will almost certainly tell you to avoid making a scene with an emotional outburst, because you’ll look irrational and disrespectful of the court—even if your outburst is justifiable under normal circumstances.

Outside of court, it’s best not to have emotional outbursts while dealing with your ex (although that’s easier said than done). It’s never ok to have an outburst in front of your kids, because it will evoke conflicting emotions in them and may cause serious psychological damage.

If your ex continues to give you a hard time, despite your best efforts to make clear-headed and rational decisions based on facts instead of emotions, let your Durham divorce lawyer know that you’re having difficulty. As your attorney, he or she is concerned with your well-being and will be able to help you find conflict-free resolutions.


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