Being Kind to Your Spouse Isn’t Just the Nice Thing to Do, It’s Legally Advantageous

Why does it pay to be nice to your ex during divorce?Being nice to your ex might be the last thing on your “to-do” list, but according to many professionals, it should be bumped up near the top. Your Durham divorce lawyer might even encourage you to be nice to your ex during divorce.


Being nice is partly about taking the high road, being a better person, and being able to look yourself in the mirror in the morning. But there’s more to it than that.

Being Nice Can Benefit You During Divorce
Think of it this way: if you and your ex get into the habit of disagreeing over everything (which often happens during a tumultuous marriage), it’s going to be tough to break – especially when you’re divorced.

Property Division: It’s fairly common knowledge that when two parties agree on most aspects of property division, divorces go more smoothly. Your attorney might suggest that you and your ex try to see past your differences and try working together. In many cases, it helps to take inventory of the property you want from your divorce and compare it to the things your ex wants – from there, you can offer things that you could do without in order to get the things that you really want.

Parenting: When it comes to collaborative parenting, then, you both have an uphill battle. You might even need to work with a parenting coordinator who can teach you how to work together. On the other hand, starting to get used to a give-and-take relationship during divorce can help you continue when issues arise in the future.

While being nice doesn’t mean you’re doing a completely collaborative divorce, it does help you work toward the same goal your ex has: to get out of the marriage as unscathed as possible. Your lawyer, who’s seen cases where parties agree and cases where parties can’t agree, will be able to guide you through choosing your battles and help you make the right choices.