Who Gets the Pots and Pans? Tips for Dividing the Little Things during Divorce

iStock_000023468377XSmallDivvying up your marital property can be tough, particularly if you and your spouse have accumulated a lot over the course of your marriage. While your Durham divorce lawyer will be glad to help you reach a property settlement that’s fair to both you and your ex, what do you do about the little stuff—things that aren’t big enough to be included in your divorce paperwork but aren’t too small to matter?

What Your Durham Divorce Lawyer Might Recommend… and Why
Your Durham divorce lawyer will probably want you and your ex to work out the smaller details yourselves. You don’t need a judge to decide who gets pots and pans, throw pillows and alarm clocks. In fact, it’s better for you and your ex to decide who gets what together. When you’re willing to compromise on things that aren’t very significant when you look at the big picture, your divorce is more likely to go smoothly and leave you each feeling like you’ve been treated fairly by the other.

Dividing the “Little Stuff”
In a perfect world, you and your soon-to-be ex would agree on where each piece of marital property belongs.

That’s usually not the case.

Generally, if you came into the marriage with something, there’s an unwritten rule that you leave with it. However, things you’ve gotten together can be tougher.

A Little Cooperation Goes a Long Way
One of the most important things to realize when you’re dividing household items is that a little cooperation on your part can have profound effects in the courtroom. While only your Durham divorce lawyer can give you legal advice that’s perfectly tailored to your situation, there’s an old saying about catching more flies with honey than with vinegar that rings particularly true during divorce.

Think before you argue over replaceable items. If your ex doesn’t have money to buy new pots and pans for his or her new place but you do, give them up. Have an extra couch in the spare bedroom that you won’t need? Offer it to your ex so he or she can use it.

Make this division of property a cooperative effort, not a fight. Ask your ex if there are things he or she would like to keep and evaluate what you really need. In some cases, you and your spouse can decide to share things (the frying pan for you, the wok for him; half the sheets and blankets for your place, half for hers) so that you both come out with your fair share.

Why Charity at Home Ends with Charity in the Courtroom
Even if you and your ex were constantly at odds during your marriage, showing that you’re open to finding solutions that work for both of you will encourage your former spouse to do the same. Your Durham divorce lawyer can tell you that people who are willing to compromise end up having more successful divorces than those who fight about the smallest details just for the sake of “winning.”