Empathy. It’s not the same as sympathy, but it’s along the same lines. Unlike sympathy, which involves acknowledging what someone else is going through, empathy means you understand what they’re going through (either because you experienced something similar or because you have the ability to put yourself in their shoes).
What does this have to do with divorce?
Having Empathy for Your Ex
When you’re going through a divorce—even from the first moment you decide to find a Chapel Hill divorce lawyer—having empathy for your ex and what he or she is going through can make all the difference in the world.
It’s not easy, especially if your ex is bitter, angry or hurt and takes those emotions out on you. However, psychologists suggest that understanding that your ex’s capacity for suffering is the same as yours is vital. Your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer will probably agree—not only is it better for your own sanity, but it’s an integral part of having what you could call a “successful divorce” where both parties are satisfied.
Why Should You Have Empathy for Your Ex?
Aside from the mental health aspects, it’s a good idea to put yourself in your ex’s shoes for several reasons. You’re more apt to be kind to someone with whom you can empathize, and if you have children, you’re setting an example for them.
Empathy doesn’t necessarily mean you have to turn your feelings into kindness (but if you can, do!) when it comes to your divorce. It can mean, however, extending a proverbial olive branch. You don’t have to go out of your way to be nice, but empathy can help you refrain from being mean.
When you and your ex can reach a truce, or even when you’re just unwilling to let your divorce get nasty, working through your disagreements is a lot easier. If you can’t, your attorney might recommend mediation; while that’s a viable alternative for couples who can’t agree on things, it might be best to use a do-it-yourself approach first.
