The Symptoms of Narcissism: How to Spot a Narcissist

Perhaps you have tried many ways to improve your marriage.  You have gone to counseling.  You have talked with close friends and trusted advisors.  But no matter what you try, your spouse just does not seem to get it.  Two people make a relationship and it takes two committed partners to work on relationship issues.  Your spouse is always blaming you for your marriage shortcomings.  You are working full time, doing all the chores around the home, managing the children and their schedules, and still your spouse makes you feel inadequate and guilty for not being good enough.

The problem is likely not you; the problem could be that your spouse is a narcissist.  This disorder is often found more in men but is not exclusive to them, and first true signs appear in one’s 20’s. Narcissists can be either overt, meaning they blatantly and openly demand what they want from those around them, or covert, meaning they mostly keep to themselves and don’t seem to empathize with the issues of others.

Review the list to see if you are likely dealing with a person with the personality disorder of narcissism.

Warning signs of a narcissist:

They are a bad sport.

They need constant praise and adoration.

They live in a world where they need to be told how smart and how handsome they are – very often.

They are a terrible listener; they are too busy in their own world to attend to menial tasks or chores.

They have a sense of entitlement.

They are a gas-lighter.

They like to put others down, no one is as smart as they are.

They like to make all the decisions; they are a control freak.

They have problems, worse than anyone else’s problems, that are not their fault. They are never to blame.

They are self-absorbed and self-centered.

They show no empathy to others.

They are a master manipulator.

They have an inflated sense of self-importance.


Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a legitimate mental health condition.  The disorder itself may cause the person who suffers to not get the professional mental health they need. This list won’t confirm without a doubt whether or not your spouse is a narcissist, as only a licensed therapist is capable of that. But hopefully, when you see the signs of this disorder in your spouse, you can take the corrective action you need to protect yourself and your feelings.