Convincing Others Your Ex is Horrible

iStock_000002149088XSmallMany divorcing couples aren’t too fond of each other. In fact, that may be part of what landed you in a Durham divorce lawyer’s office in the first place. Your ex might be a horrible person—just terrible—but that doesn’t give you free reign to tell everyone else about it.

While it might be tempting, bad-mouthing your ex is generally a bad idea. Providing your Durham divorce lawyer with facts is one thing; telling your parents, your best friend and everyone you encounter that your ex is a rotten person who deserves the worst out of life is another. You should avoid saying, tweeting or Facebooking negative things about your ex whenever possible, because things have a way of coming full circle.

Bad-Mouthing Your Ex to Your Kids
Your kids love both you and your ex, and if you trash-talk their other parent in front of them, you’ll almost certainly cause them psychological trauma. Kids want to be loyal to both of you, but if you’re saying terrible things about Mom or Dad, they’ll be torn and might internalize the conflict they’re experiencing. Additionally, parental alienation (the practice of emotionally driving kids away from one parent) can affect your child custody case.

Trash-Talking to Friends
Your friends don’t want to hear you spouting negativity about each other. Like kids, they’ll feel torn between you—but unlike kids, they have the choice to stay or go. Constant ex-bashing can drive your friends away because they just can’t handle the constant negativity.

Naturally, true friends will understand when you need to vent or listen when your ex did something terrible that deserves a long rant. Feelings of anger, hurt and guilt are normal, and most friends will understand where you’re coming from. However, if your anger seems to consume you completely, your friends might forget to see you for the person you really are.

If you feel like your anger toward your ex is becoming overwhelming, ask your Durham divorce lawyer if he or she can refer you to a local counselor or therapist who can help you deal with it before it becomes a serious problem.

Talking Smack about Your Ex to Family
Your family will love you no matter what, but that doesn’t mean you should steamroll their feelings about your ex. Many married couples intertwine their lives with extended family, and your family members might still be fond of your ex despite what he or she did to you.

Save it for Your Durham Divorce Lawyer
Your lawyer needs to know all the terrible things your ex does in order to best help you in court during your divorce. Remember, though, that your attorney is there to help you—and he or she can’t do that as effectively if you’re slinging insults and making accusations without basis. Stick to the facts without trash-talking your ex. You’ll keep your blood pressure at a reasonable level, your Durham divorce lawyer can work more efficiently on your behalf, and you’ll have a happier, more productive day.