What do the following celebrities all have in common?
- Hugh Jackman
- Meryl Streep
- Kris Jenner
- Billy Ray Cyrus
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Morgan Freeman
These above-mentioned celebrities divorced when they had 20+ years of marriage behind them (and of special note, Meryl Streep divorced after 45 years of marriage). These celebrities are illustrating the national trend of “gray divorce”
What is gray divorce?
The phrase “gray divorce”, or late life divorce, is used for those over the age of 50 who are divorcing and/or who have had a long-term marriage. The gray rate of divorce has more than doubled in the past 35 years. Also, gray divorce is three times higher for remarried couples than first time married couples. Why is that?
Couples in their 20’s and 30’s have different attitudes about marriage than their grandparents. They are career focused and marrying at a later age. They may live together first, giving a trial run at “playing house” before the marriage commitment. Younger generations are approaching marriage in way that in turn is keeping them married while gray divorce numbers are increasing.
The Reason for the Increase in Gray Divorce in NC
There are many reasons for the upswing in gray divorce. Often, we hear of parties separating because of their empty nest. The children are out of the house and the parents’ lives take on a new rhythm. Couples are forced to spend time together, and many realize that they have grown apart and that they have little in common anymore. Some folks take the time to re-discover who they are after the children leave the home. There can be a renewed interest in self-improvement, hobbies, and lifestyle changes. At this point, some couples grow apart even more.
Also, at midlife, health issues can become prominent. Some people face their health problems with improved diets and exercise. Others can become more sedentary. Aging can often mean increased health challenges. Some will sit around and complain about how bad they feel, yet their partner may take steps to become healthier. These health concerns certainly can relate to sex drive changes, yet another issue for aging couples.
And while mentioning health, at midlife, some people can really question how they want to spend the remainder of their life. A common question can be: Is this really who I want to live with for the rest of my days? Life expectancy has extended, resulting in some saying: I really don’t want to spend the rest of my time with this person.
As women have made progress in the workplace, more married woman have financial freedom and independence. This increase in freedom and financial security is more than what their stay-at-home mothers possessed. Mature women today are not financially forced to stay married.
The Consequences of Gray Divorce
Other gray divorce consequences include studies that link gray divorce with loneliness and isolation, especially men, which can be a trigger for depression and health related issues. Women tend to stay in touch with family and friends more than men. Those single and older often fret over having no caregiver and being alone. Blood pressure rates for older men tend to be higher for those who are divorced.
The longer a couple has been married, the more likely their financial situation is complex. The most valuable asset for many couples is their home. For sentimental reasons, one party may want to keep the family home. But a party should honestly ask: should I keep it? What will the upkeep be? Will the home become a financial drain? Other assets like retirement funds and 401 Ks need to be divided. One should think long and hard over giving up retirement monies just to keep an empty house. Autos, boats, and second homes need to be distributed as well.
Since there are many ramifications to a divorce, and especially gray divorce, contact us or give us a call to help you answer these questions. We can help whether you are a celebrity or not.
Lisa has practiced law since 1987 but has also been heavily involved in legal education and writing. As a teacher at Central Carolina Community College, she has been nominated twice for Instructor of the Year. She has taught paralegal and criminal justice courses, authored legal study guides and articles for national publications, edited numerous legal studies textbooks, and consulted with legal authors on several writing and educational projects. She is also a Board member and Committee Chair for the North Carolina State Bar Board of Paralegal Certification.
