My Ex Blames Me for Everything

My Ex Says the Divorce is My FaultWhen your ex turns around the blame as if you’re solely responsible for your divorce, it can really hurt—even if you don’t want to admit it. But when the person you once loved places all their anger, bitterness and spitefulness on your shoulders, it’s tough. While your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer can help you handle all the legal aspects of your case, you’re left to your own devices when it comes to the emotional side.

“My Ex Blames Me for Everything!”
It’s pretty common for exes to blame each other during divorce. If one spouse was unfaithful, he or she might blame the other for driving them into another partner’s arms; if one spouse worked too much and neglected the family, he or she might claim they wouldn’t have had to spend so much time earning if the other didn’t spend so much money.

Either way, it’s not fair for one party to push all of the blame on the other party’s shoulders. So what can you do if your ex blames you for everything?

Make the Decision Not to Accept
Accepting all the blame, especially if it isn’t yours to accept, can be emotionally unhealthy. Couple that with the fact that you cannot control what other people do and you could slip into a perpetual cycle of unhappiness.

That doesn’t mean that you should argue with your ex over who’s at fault. What it does mean is that you should keep the peace as best you can (especially when it comes to discussing things like property division and child custody) and make sure your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer knows the truth. Knowing that it can’t possibly be only your fault can make a huge difference in the way you handle your divorce.

What Blame Really Is
Blame is a way of taking false control over a situation. When your ex blames you for everything, they’re absolving themselves of any guilt—but it will stick with them and cause negative consequences later.

If your ex won’t stop playing the blame game and you can’t make any progress when it comes to settling your personal affairs, your Chapel Hill divorce lawyer might recommend that you work with a mediator. Embrace the suggestion; it can make your life easier and shift the focus from constant finger-pointing to actually getting things done.

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