Pseudoreconciliation

It is very common for those thrown into emotional turmoil to return to what has provided them with comfort over the years. We see many cases of what has been referred to as “pseudoreconciliation.” This is what happens when the initial positive thoughts a person has about separation—the simplicity of earlier times, adventure, even new romance—turn out to be fleeting. The leaving spouse may instead feel loneliness and guilt. This partner may experience disapproval from friends, parents, and other family members. The result may be a confusing situation wherein the spouse returns home and even goes on to feel much better for a while. Usually though, unless substantial work is done to improve the relationship, the problems that led to separation recur, and the couple separates again. This pattern, which sometimes repeats, is traumatic for the adults and can be much more traumatic for any involved children, who have likely fantasized about their parents reconciling.

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