My Child is Getting Spoiled at My Ex’s House

When your ex spoils your kidsWhen you and your ex share kids, chances are pretty good that you also share time with them through a custody agreement. In a perfect world, you and your ex would have the same parenting standards; you’d agree on everything that pertains to your kids and you’d have the same rules at Mom’s and at Dad’s.

But we don’t live in a perfect world.

Sometimes it’s almost impossible to maintain standard rules across the board, whether it’s because of scheduling issues or because you and your ex really should be working with a parenting coordinator so that you can agree on the fundamentals.

It’s not uncommon for one parent to feel like their child is being spoiled at the other parent’s house – and if that applies to you, what can you do about it?

My Child is Getting Spoiled at My Ex’s House
If you feel like your child is getting spoiled at your ex’s house, the first thing you should to is approach your ex. You don’t have to involve your Durham divorce lawyer at this point.

In a friendly, non-confrontational way, try to find out if your ex can see where you’re coming from. You might be surprised to discover that your ex is spoiling your child out of guilt; he or she might feel like the kids deserve extra-special treatment, such as lax rules, no chores or responsibilities, or lavish gifts to make up for the divorce.

When You Can’t Make Your Ex Understand
Don’t be surprised if your ex isn’t willing to agree that he or she is spoiling your child. However, be aware that if things continue on this path, it can teach your child to become manipulative. It can also cause emotional instability, particularly when your child is confused about where he or she stands with each parent.

It might be a good idea to take your child to see a licensed therapist or counselor who can help them talk through their feelings. In the meantime, stick to your guns – your rules are your rules, and there is no getting around them.


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