Dealing with Your Ex’s New Girlfriend
When you’re divorced (or going through a divorce), you know that your ex will eventually get involved with someone else. But when that happens, where are the boundaries? Further, what do you do if she steps over them?
Do I Have to Deal with My Ex’s New Girlfriend?
In short, no – you don’t have to deal with your ex’s new girlfriend. Like with all aspects of your divorce, your Durham divorce lawyer will probably advise you to keep the peace as best you can. That means that you might have to bite your tongue when you feel like snapping at her or that you might have to hold back your irritation when she tries to discuss something with you. However, it doesn’t mean that she’s allowed to overstep her bounds, especially when it comes to the children you and your ex share.
Don’t be afraid to let her know if that happens, but be honest with yourself. Has she really overstepped them? It’s easy to take things personally during and after divorce, so make sure you’re justified before you get defensive. Above all, keep things civil. Your life, and your kids’ lives, will be much more peaceful if you can be nice when you deal with your ex’s new girlfriend.
You Don’t Have to Be Friends; You Do Have to Be Civil
“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” That’s mostly true when you’re dealing with your ex’s new girlfriend; just swap out “nice” with “civil.”
It’s always okay to do things like coordinate pickups with the two of them, but big decisions regarding custody and visitation or child support belong between you and your ex. By communicating only with him, you can make things easier on your whole family and avoid confusion.
If your ex is involved with someone while you’re still married, make sure you let your attorney know. It could affect your case, and the more your lawyer knows, the better he or she can protect your – and your kids’ – rights under North Carolina law.