The research regarding the effects of different parenting schedules on children is inconclusive. Even if the research was in place and states incorporated it into guidelines, the individual characteristics of each child would be lost. Especially when children are under about age six (school age), you need to make sure that the parenting plan takes into account the child’s individual needs. If you have more than one child, and one or more is young, you will probably need work out separate, child-specific schedules with your spouse.
It is not recommended that overnights be scheduled for children under a year. The change in environment and prolonged detachment from the primary caregiver can be traumatic. However, the child’s other parent is encouraged to visit frequently and predictably. As kids grow, their tolerance for overnight stays increases. Overnights in the second and third year should limited. The child’s reaction should guide both parents regarding whether the arrangement is developmentally appropriate. Experts don’t recommend consecutive overnights until the child is three.
When considering a parenting schedule for each child, parents need to consider a number of questions:
- Where is the child developmentally?
- How well does the child separate from the primary caregiver?
- Has he or she ever spent the night without that person, and how did that go?
- How sensitive is the child to changes in the environment?
Honest answers to these questions will help you work together to identify a reasonable schedule that will most benefit the child. When creating schedules for your young children, you can map out the schedule agreed upon once the child becomes more mature (perhaps age 6). In the interim, you will need to work together periodically to move from an initial plan to the final schedule.
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