Divorce is a trauma. There’s no way around that. Even when it is mutually agreed on, and obviously the right thing for everyone involved, ripping apart the life two people have woven is bound to be messy and painful.
Nearly half of all married couples will have to deal with divorce, but few go into the process with a clear sense of what is happening to them, or why. Even though we’re all vaguely aware of the doom-and-gloom statistics regarding marriage in this day and age, all but the most cynical of couples marry expecting to stay together happily ever after. Once married, people generally don’t think much about what divorce is like or how it would affect their lives unless they begin to experience major problems in the relationship.
Being naïve about divorce is a mistake: understanding what happens during divorce can lead to better decisions, smoother negotiations, faster settlements, and far fewer sleepless nights. This is your starting point for learning the lessons of your divorce.
We’ll answer many of the questions people have when they first begin thinking about ending a marriage. We consider the common causes of divorce to help spark insights about what went wrong. Perhaps you can even resolve your marital problems without going all the way down the divorce path. If not, developing an understanding of what happened may help you avoid repeating those mistakes in future relationships.
After considering the causes of divorce, we help you develop some realistic expectations about the often-misunderstood outcomes of divorce, including how divorce affects happiness, finances, and parenting. Understanding potential divorce ramifications will help you make a better decision about whether you should try to save your marriage. For those who are uncertain if divorce is their best choice, we discuss options you might want to try prior to, or instead of, divorce. Finally, if splitting up still seems to be the only viable option, this page and the below sections will help you understand more about what you will have to deal with so you can make the transition as smoothly as possible.
At this early point we want to call special attention to domestic violence. Nearly one-third of women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood. The portion within married couples is lower, but some of the most serious problems occur when couples separate. If you are in a violent relationship, skip ahead to our section on domestic violence right away.
Sections
The Causes of Divorce
Divorce and Happiness
The Financial Implications of Divorce
Divorce and Children
Making the Decision to Divorce
Marriage Counseling
Finding a Marriage Counselor
Alternatives to Counseling
Trial Separation
